Since moving to Texas over a year ago, my pack has weather several changes and transitions. My J, with his job and business responsibilities, and I...well, I am the same but yet so different. The one constant in our lives is Chief. His playful, energetic nature and curious persistence can be counted on daily. A nudge of my hand from his wet, eager nose when I'm not keeping pace with his expectations never surprises me. And he is forever wanting some of whatever J or I have on our dinner plates. However, I still marvel and stare at how he shows and shares his complete love and adoration for J.
When my hubby and I decided to get a dog, it was silently understood that this dog would be his. He had always wanted a dog of his own, and his family had had pets but mainly cats. J and I had a wonderful pet in Hobbes, and after his passing I suppose I closed off that part of my heart. I was affectionate with Chief and cared for him, but at a distance and on purpose. Should I have showered him with all of my love and affection when we first brought him into our home wouldn't have mattered though. His soul mate was J. The day those two met, well, neither would be the same.
Today, nearly three years later, that bond and love is only stronger and more concrete. I will watch Chief with J after J gets home from work. My man works long hours and treasures his time at home, and don't get me wrong, I know J looks forward to seeing me in the evenings. But when J comes in the house and Chief greats him, it's as if the sun is shining right inside our house! It is truly something to behold. The energy level explodes and the world is right again. The boy can't get close enough to J and well, I can barely get close to him because of it. I'm convinced that dog simply lives to spend time with his master. He prefers J to walk him (I'm sure), as well as feed him and sleep with him. Those are facts I find adorable.
When Chief looks at me, it is entirely with a different glint and perspective. I know he loves me and considers me a pack mate, and there are no problems with who is in authority. I am his caregiver on all levels - food, walks, play, cleaner, shopper and vet (at times). I am very necessary to my boy's life and happiness. When I'm not there Chief knows it and shows it.
If only our roles in life were as crystal-clear as my dog views my husband's and mine. I struggle at times with how our new location has affected me. I want to be my best and to perform to my potential for my own peace of mind, to feel that accomplishment and pride. Plus, I know it would put the other members of my pack at ease. There is a small part of J that senses my unsettled nature. Yet, Chief, in his innocent wisdom, already knows what I am capable of and has complete confidence in me. He knows how powerful and strong am, more so than I do. My dog really knows no fear. I am working on being able to say the same about myself one day soon.